Parenting expert's 5-point advice for teens who snap back at their mothers

If there is a teenager aged 14 to 19 at home, or if you are going through that age yourself, one thing is common: at this age, children often feel that no one understands them. Out of this frustration, they end up answering back angrily to their parents, especially their mother. On this subject, a well known parenting channel on Instagram, maonduty, has shared a video with a very warm and thoughtful message for teenagers. If you too sometimes snap at your mother in anger, remember these five things before you do it again.

According to the parenting expert, the first thing is that parents should be guides, not rulers. Right at the start of the video, there is a useful piece of advice for parents. The expert says your children are now on the path to growing up. They are dealing with many changes in their life and often feel that you are against their wishes. In such a situation, it is not necessary to keep shouting at them or to be a controlling ruler who keeps them tied down; instead every parent should be a guide who shows the way with love. At the same time, children too should think about these five things before answering back to their mother.

Second, children should trust that their mother is not against them. In the teenage years, a mother's taunts or restrictions can often feel excessive. At that time, the child may feel that the mother wants to take away their freedom. But it is not necessary that every restriction comes from a wish to control. The expert tells children that if a mother speaks loudly in anger or her manner of speaking does not feel right, do not immediately assume she is against you. Many times what parents say is right, only the way of saying it may be wrong. So the next time before answering back in anger, ask yourself: does my mother really dislike what I say? This question can often stop the entire argument right there.

Third, not every restriction means control. Things like do not use the phone, do not stay out late at night, can sometimes feel like control to teenagers. But parents mostly want to protect the child from a hasty decision, because at this age many decisions can be taken under the influence of emotions. Under pressure from friends, relationships, career, social media or something else, a child may do something in haste. In such a case, it is not right to call the parents' concern as just you are controlling me. It also matters that parents do not explain everything properly. Guiding and taking every decision yourself are two different things. So both parents and children should try to understand each other.

Fourth, harsh words deeply hurt a mother. It is common for teenagers to sometimes want to be alone, they need space. But when a child angrily tells their mother do not stay near me, for the child it may just be a moment's anger, but it can keep hurting the mother for a long time. She starts feeling, what mistake did I make after all. So children should not behave this way with their mother.

Fifth and last, the real reason for the anger is not the mother, it is your own stress. According to the expert, in the teenage years many things are happening at once: school pressure, exams, career, friendship and relationships. The child themselves may not realise why they are so troubled. In such a situation, the anger comes out on the closest person, and in most homes that person is the mother. So the next time there is a fight with the mother over something small, ask yourself: am I really angry at my mother, or is it some other pressure? Parents too should try to understand that anger at this age is not a personal attack but may have some other reason behind it. The expert also says that time passes very quickly, from school to college, then to a job, and slowly the time spent with the mother keeps reducing. One day, when life settles down, you will realise the mother was right. There is a hidden love even in a mother's scolding, and understanding it just needs a little maturity, which comes to every child at a different time.